Being a single mom is no cakewalk. The endless juggling of work, kids, budgets and just trying to catch your breath is real. Sure, the struggles can seem endless but the laughter and joy make even the toughest days brighter. Because parenting is nothing if not funny, hilarious, and wildly chaotic at times!
To celebrate the humor of solo parenting in all its glory, we’ve rounded up over 60 of the wittiest single mom funny quotes. These quirky and relatable quotes encapsulate everything from the parent alarms aka screaming kids waking you up to hiding in the bathroom for just a moment of silence. They validate all those little moments of the gloriously messy job called motherhood with a wink and a smile.
So get ready to Read funny single mom quotes if you’re a single mama. Whether you’re solo parenting or know a fab single mom, these funny quotes make the perfect dose of chuckles for your day!
Contents
Best Single Mom Funny Quotes
Here are 25 Relatable Single Mom Quotes Funny:
- “Parenting tip: Save money on expensive home decor. Just hang up your kids ‘artwork’ everywhere.”
- “I ordered groceries online to avoid taking my kids to the store. Now taking out the trash poses the same challenge.”
- “Being a single mom is like an endless juggling act, except all the balls are on fire and the children.”
- “I haven’t peed alone in years. If I’m in the bathroom for more than a minute, my kids think I abandoned them.”
- “I may not have it all together but my kids think I’m awesome. That’s all that matters.”
- “Who needs a significant other when you have a toddler throwing hourly tantrums?”
- “My daily routine: Wake up 5 minutes before the kids and chug coffee like it’s life support.”
- “The only six-pack I have is a six-pack of juice boxes in my fridge.”
- “I ordered pizza so I could eat it hot. Then my kid fell asleep on my lap and my dinner got cold anyway.”
- “Being a single mom is like an episode of Survivor without the million prize at the end.”
- “Yesterday I showered, shaved my legs, AND washed my hair. Practically spa day!”
- “I haven’t been to the bathroom alone in years. Motherhood problems.”
- “The only thing faster than my laundry pile growing is my patience shrinking.”
- “I’m a single mom. And yes, I have supernatural powers but laundry and dishes weaken me.”
- “Parenting mantra: Keep the tiny humans alive. Anything else I get done today is a bonus.”
- “My mornings are a chaotic circus act where I’m the frazzled ringmaster.”
- “I ordered online groceries thinking I was being efficient. Hah! If only the toddler tantrums were optional too.”
- “Being a single mom means having the privilege of being both the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.”
- “Who needs a personal trainer when you have a toddler?”
- “Someday when my kids are grown, I won’t know what to do with all my free time… Said no single mom ever!”
- “I haven’t slept in years, but at least my kids think I can do anything. #MomWin”
- “I’m co-parenting very well with my ex. It’s me doing the parenting while he co-exists somewhere on this planet.”
- “I’m not just a single mom, I’m the CEO – Chief Everything Officer.”
- “Parenting pro tip: Hide the good chocolate and save it for when the kids go to sleep.”
- “I don’t need a significant other. I have a toddler throwing significant tantrums daily.”
Hilariously Single Mom Quotes Funny
Here are 20 hilariously funny quotes for single moms:
- “I haven’t been to the bathroom alone in years. If I’m in there for more than a minute, my kids think I abandoned them.”
- “I ordered groceries online to avoid taking my kids shopping. Now taking out the trash poses the same challenge.”
- “Dear laundry: I’m sorry for laughing when I saw a bird poop on you when you were hanging on the clothesline. Please forgive me for magically folding yourself when dry.”
- “When I grow up, I want to be a mom just like my mom. Except I want to have more pee breaks and hot meals.”
- “Shout out to all the single moms! Keep doing an amazing job, superstar!”
- “Dear laundry pile – I realize you miss me when we’re apart. But clinging to me every day is excessive and co-dependent.”
- “Being a single mom means knowing where everything is…except my sanity!”
- “Parenting life hack: hide the good snacks and save them for when the kids go to sleep.”
- “I ordered takeout so I could have a break from cooking. My toddler took one bite and decided he hated it. #MomFail”
- “Me: I should meal prep to eat healthy this week. Also me: *eats leftover mac and cheese standing over the sink*”
- “I thought the hardest part about being a single mom would be doing it all alone. But the hardest part is having no one to laugh about the crazy stuff with!”
- “My alarm clock is a screaming toddler. My snooze button is non-existent.”
- “My new mom’s car has an invisible carwash that runs on toddler fingerprints and cracker crumbs.”
- “Being a single parent is like trying to organize a birthday party while all the kids are hopped up on sugar.”
- “Parenting pro tip: Keep your toddler away from permanent markers unless you want to redecorate your walls.”
- “I ordered a cute new outfit online and it finally came! But now I have no plans to wear it because….toddlers.”
- “I’m not just a single mom. I’m the Chief Laundry Officer, Executive Chef, and Director of Toddler Fight Club.”
- “The only six-pack I have comes in a cardboard box filled with juice pouches.”
- “Who needs a significant other when you have a toddler throwing significant tantrums daily?”
- “Being a single mom means questioning if drying my hair is worth the 5 minutes of peace and quiet.”
20+ Best Single Mom Pregnancy Announcements Ideas
Unique funny single mother quotes
Here are 20 unique and funny quotes for single mothers:
- “I’m my kid’s chauffeur, chef, teacher, and piggy bank all wrapped into one person.”
- “Whoever said parenting gets easier is a big fat liar…and definitely not a single parent!”
- “Me time? You mean that glorious 8 minutes I get in the shower while the kids bang on the door nonstop?”
- “Shout out to all the single moms hustling every day to give their kids the best life possible!”
- “I haven’t slept in years, but at least my kids think I have magical powers. Totally worth it!”
- “Dear laundry pile – Sorry I laughed when the bird pooped on you. Please forgive me by folding yourself when dry.”
- “Being a single mom means mastering the art of dressing up pajamas to look business casual for Zoom calls.”
- “Parenting wisdom: Children have more need of models than critics.”
- “Waiting for the school year to start is a single mom’s version of Christmas morning!”
- “Me: *puts the kid to bed* Also me: *stays up too late binging shows my kid wouldn’t approve of*”
- “We’re all just out here doing our best as parents. Some days we crush it, some days just surviving is enough.”
- “I ordered beautiful new clothes online that finally came in the mail! But now I have no plans to wear them thanks to….toddlers.”
- “I may not have it all together but my kids think I’m a“I may not have it all together but my kids think I’m awesome. That’s all that matters.”
- “Parenting pro tip: Hide the good chocolate and save it for when the tiny dictators go to sleep.”
- “Do toddler tantrums count as strength training? My arms have never been so toned!”
- “Adulting level unlocked: Washing new clothes so baby can spit up on them instead of perfectly good pajamas.”
- “I’m my child’s parent, teacher, referee, and piggy bank all wrapped into one person.”
- “I ordered pizza so I could eat it hot. My toddler fell asleep on my lap. Now my dinner is cold. #MomFail”
- “Someday when my kids move out I won’t know what to do with all my free time…Said no single mom ever!”
- “Single moms are the real superheroes. Making it all happen without a cape or mask in sight!”
Conclusion On Single Mom Quotes Funny
That wraps up our round-up of over 60 hilariously relatable single mom funny quotes! We hope you enjoyed this comedic spin on the less glamorous side of solo parenting life.
Whether you’re a single mom yourself or know one who deserves a good laugh, these quirky quotes poke gentle (and affectionate!) fun at the daily juggle. From endless piles of laundry to kids barging into the bathroom when you just want a moment alone to remember who you are. And let’s not forget maneuvering toddler tantrums and trying to snack on something before the tiny humans descend!
Mostly though, these single mom funny quotes validate that amid the non-stop hustle, the laughter makes even the toughest days brighter. So to all you hard-working single mamas, know that you are never alone. And while the struggles are real, humor and community help lighten the load.
Here’s to embracing the laughter along with the chaos! Feel free to share these empathetic giggles with special single parents in your life. May these quotes remind all solo moms that it’s ok to find the comedy in this crazy ride called motherhood!